This world is not my home

(Possible spoiler alert: Some of the movie's plot elements are mentioned in my comments below.)

I wasn't expecting much; I had been let down before. But considering the number of times I've seen Raiders, I had to go.

From the opening shot the filmmakers declare they aren't trying to top Raiders. "Don't make a mountain out of a molehill," goes an old saying. Indeed, this movie begins by making a molehill out of a mountain. If you proceed to expect serious entertainment for the next two hours with a whip-smart storyline, then you might become sorely disappointed. (That was my experience with the third IJ movie.) But you'll have fun if you're just going along for a goofy ride on a roller coaster with an old friend.

Indeed, Indiana Jones is old, and isn't as nimble as he once was. References to his age is part of the schtick. And the plot gets more and more, well, schticky as the movie proceeds: a fake Levittown, a nuclear explosion, monkeys, waterfall rafting, aliens!* Like a Borscht Belt comedian, it propels itself on a lot of one-liners whose total is less than the sum of its parts. But you don't really care about story; you came for action, didn't you? The costumes and sets are cool to watch, but what matters is the kinetics. Unfortunately, the action overall is not on par with Raiders or Temple of Doom, but it does have its moments. At 65 Harrison Ford apparently even pulls off a stunt Jackie Chan would do, running along swinging rafters.

Actually it's the schtick that saves the day. Winking references to previous IJ movies accentuate the less-than-memorable action and make palatable a mostly ridiculous plot. Teacher jokes are included! Spielberg is uneven when it comes to comedic moments -- in other movies I've found his attempts at comedy a bit cloy (including the third IJ) -- but here they work pretty well, particularly the repartee between Indy and Marion, an old flame whose reappearance from Raiders is quite welcome and is deftly incorporated into the story (ridiculous as it is).

In short, I didn't expect it to live up to Raiders, and I wasn't disappointed.

(I went to the historic Senator Theater in Baltimore for the first time to see it, and the audience acted like it was a live performance, clapping at stage entrances, etc. -- it made for a more enjoyable experience.)

(*) I know Spielberg is obsessed with aliens, but who would've thought he'd bring it into Indiana Jones? As one fellow audience member joked, "I was expecting the Jedi to come out next."

They trusted you.
You were with them
when they died
-- the sole witness.

To a god of vengeance
you immersed them
one by
one.

Now it is they who live,
and you are
the one

left behind

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/crime/bal-hotel,0,7657449.storygallery
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/crime/bal-te.md.slayings01apr01,0,3164440.story

Mark Castillo of Rockville walked with his three young children Saturday afternoon through Baltimore's Inner Harbor, where tourists congregate along the city's waterfront promenade.

About 5 p.m., he checked into the Marriott Hotel near Camden Yards and took his children into Room 1060, a top-floor room with two beds.

An hour later, one by one, Castillo drowned his children in the bathtub, police said. When he was done, he laid their tiny, naked bodies on one bed: Anthony, 6, Austin, 4, and Athena, 2.

Then he swallowed 100 Motrin pills and cut himself in the neck with a steak knife in an apparent suicide attempt, police said. He woke up about 1 p.m. Sunday, after sleeping for hours - his dead children in the same room - and called the front desk, police said, to report what he had done.

Slogans for a New King

Just who will replace King George? Here are the three top contenders for your consideration, along with a slogan I think best captures the spirit of their campaign.

Hillary: "Just Three Words: It's MY Turn"

Hillary just can't stand that even though she wears the pants, she never got to wear the crown. Her slogan will appeals to sycophant males and embittered feminists who proudly label themselves with a certain word that starts with b.

Obama: "Because It's All About You"

In a decade that has spawned YouTube, MySpace, and American Idol, Obama's campaign appeals to the narcissistic aspirations of every American who wants “change” in their own Rorschach way.

McCain: "Let Me Be Your Sugar (Grand)Daddy"

McCain is promising change too, dishing out economic promises like a grandpa spoiling his grandkids. Whereas before he spoke the truth without love (“No more allowance for you!”), now he is pandering to all those in denial about their fiscal irresponsibility as lovingly as he can. (“You spent all your money on candy? Well, here's a little extra for a very special girl and boy.”)